How to stop comparing yourself to others

Before I started therapy, I obsessively compared myself to others all the time. Subconsciously, I allocated a status to every person I spoke to and in most cases I saw myself as inferior to them. This is called inferiority complex and it was the driving force of my anxiety and depression, deeply rooted from my childhood experiences of constantly being abused for not being good enough.

I’ve noticed that people compare themselves against others regularly which is devastating. Mark Twain was right: “Comparison is the death of joy.”

Here are my 4 ways to help you stop comparing yourself to others:

  1. Only compete against yourself
    Comparing yourself against others is unfair because we are all completely different. We have different skills, strengths and weaknesses. We are all at different stages in our journey of life. In the same way you wouldn’t compare a lion to a bird, it doesn’t make sense to compare yourself against everyone else. Each are special in their own way. Therefore, you should only aim to beat your previous best.
  2. Limit social media usage
    People only show off the best parts of their lives on social media. When you’re bombarded with everyone’s selfies of them having a great time out, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that their life is better than yours. Realistically, selfies are often forced and not at all an accurate representation of someone’s quality of life.
  3. Avoid putting other people on a pedestal
    Some people appear to be very successful in all aspects of their lives. They seem unstoppable and everything always seems to go their way. However, it’s important to realise that we all have weaknesses, regardless of our success. A colleague could be excellent at their job at work, but this very person who you envy, could be on the brink of divorce with their spouse at home. You just never know the whole picture.
  4. Realise that there is only one of you in this universe
    Nobody can think the way that you do. Nobody has experienced all the pain and joys in life as you have. Nobody knows all of the things that you know. You’re an original copy. You don’t have to be amazing like him/her, you can be amazing like you.stop-comparing-comic2
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39 thoughts on “How to stop comparing yourself to others

  1. Oh I have done the same. In fact, just recently I was comparing myself to what I thought was an ideal I couldn’t achieve…
    …sometimes we need to just accept ourselves for the beauty that does exist within us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this! It’s very true. When I was waiting for my new phone to come in the mail, I couldn’t check Facebook every time my phone went off, and it was nice. Social media adds a lot of stress. I’m so bad about comparing myself to the people I went to school with. I’m like “I should be where they’re at right now in life.” but I need to remind myself that we all move at our own pace.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Agreed! We’re exactly where we are supposed to be at this moment in time. Social media makes us feel like we’re behind and missing out but in reality, there is no rush. I’m glad this resonated with you ☺️

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  3. So good. When we are raised as children in a critical environment, it is so hard to unlearn that way of thinking. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post…
    I had to get off facebook and still off of it for at least 6 months I believe when I know people telling lies …trying to make others feel less than is not me…I have thought about making one for this site…since everyone I have met on here has been so kind and nice and truthful …and when and if I ever get back on facebook I will be deleting many fakes …
    again great post that we should remember
    Hugggs
    Suzette

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Suzette! Yes it’s important to manage the people we are connected to on social media. I’ve also noticed that I have a lot of “fake friends” on there who’s posts don’t actually benefit my life in any way. I’m glad you’ve been off it for so long, changes the way you live life does’t it?
      Much love ❤️

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  5. I hope you’re finding things a bit easier now. Will you be able to leave home and house share or something? 💕🌻✨

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    • It’s tough because I still live with family but hopefully I should be moving out in September for university if I get a place. I can’t wait to get out of here. If not, then at least I’m better mentally equipped I guess. Thank you for asking 💕

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  6. Really sensible advice (again!). I am going to print out that cartoon and use it to remind myself I’m ok. My take on this is my inability to take a compliment, i can always find a flaw to negate the praise.

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  7. One of the irrational thoughts or habits listed by David Burns one of the founders and promoters of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is Compare and Dispair. When we compare ourselves to others we are often comparing our deficiencies to what we perceive to be their stregths all of which reinforces our sense of inadequacies. Thanks for visiting my blog..
    .

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You make great conclusions. Kudos for extracting these from your own experience. I am particularly interested in learning more about the effects of social media in several societal areas including self-portrayal and truth. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi!! Did you know that I am not taking guest contributors posts and sharing them on my blog? Of course I give credit and even include a link to the blog. This post would be perfect for us. Please let me know if you would like to contribute it!

    Liked by 1 person

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